我真的很爱你

我还是放不下你我承认我的嘴巴很硬

每次都很好胜

其实我不敢接受你离开我身边的原因

原来我一直以来

都在傻

傻得够了

我太over了

想到自己从来没想过别人

我很过分

我一直以来都是靠人家才能生活

从来没想过要怎么去独立

我从小就被宠坏

我很笨

你说的每句话我从来没听过

我承认一切

你知道为什么我不听话吗

因为你让我失去“她”

没有“她”之后

你知道我没有依靠吗

我从来没有一个很好的听众

也从来没有一个人给我更好的路

因为这样我不想再选择错

我爱你曾焕光

每次很你吵架我都一个人哭

我不敢打电话给你是因为我怕听到很伤我的话

我希望这次我可以为了

Josh Chan & Ywei Ng

改

虽然你们两个都和伤我

如果没有你们

我可能还在不清醒状态

谢谢你们

让我懂我爸爸多辛苦地养我长大了

爸爸

我很没有用

只顾自己你却假装当作没事情

你们每次默默为我付出我却那么对你们

很不公平

Ywei Ng，Josh Chan,张意，Jacker and 爸爸

TQ你们

今天之后我什么都会是一个人

未来在街上遇见的只是他和我以前好朋友手牵手一起走

可能我看到了会很难过

看着自己的前男友抱着以前好朋友的感受

我无法接受事实

我无依无靠了你说你喜欢我

为何还那么对我

两个伤害都指向我来

信息你是这样写的

过去事情别提了

刚才很伤心哭到好惨

幸好有XX给我抱抱给我安慰

分手前

我已经看到一切手指都指向我

如果爱我

为什么明明知道那是伤害你还要找他

我想接受你了

但是你又找了伤害给我

17/12/2010

是他们两人的约会

我祝他们幸福

可是当我知道这个心情时

我的心告诉了我

我很快很快就要离开这里

我不会再回来

因为

每个角落都有我和他的点点滴滴

走到哪里

就会想到以前我们的脚步声

你抱她的时候

其实我还再等偷偷你挽回你懂吗

你以为我真的要分

是你让我无路选择

我一个人傻傻在家等你

希望走过我家旁边的小路还会是你

等你还默默像以前偷偷守护我

原来你抱了她

你从来不给我好好选择过

大家

都指向了我

或许

你会开心点

因为

我早就已经习惯被人责怪了

我放开你

以为你真的真的会好好用心真心挽回我

原来你的挽回

是去抱着他

我不会再等你

因为

你抱了她

那个画面我不敢相信

我想快点离开属于我们的地方

原来：你抱了她

我恨你

爱让我变成了恨呢

世界真的会世界末日吗？

你对我说：“ 这是不可能的事啦！我们还会看到子孙的。”

我偷偷地笑了

这时我忍不住牵了你的手

在这之前

总是再想如果真的世界末日的时候，你会不会抱着我一起死？

可是听到你这么一说我的心好像很安心

对呀

可能你不要我胡想

可是我很害怕失去现在的一切

虽然现在没有你的依靠了

但我还是很镇定

等你回来

因为我知道我很疼你

你也很疼我

只是还是很难过

如果有一天

我放弃你的话

你要更幸福

我无法为了你等了两年

无法在你最需要的时候，陪伴你。

她可以~

她等了你那么久

默默等你那么久了

我佩服

觉得配不起了

和我在一起

只是吵架

她一定不会像我那么没用吧

我是否要放弃？

你也曾经要放弃我，对吧？

对不起了，光！

LOVE Makes Me STRONG!!

LOVE make me STRONG... Cool Word!!

I like and agree it so much.

Maybe HE had be a part of my LIFE

But... Yup he is important for me!

Dear~ Thx for stand beside me...
I love You, Josh Chan~
Love you forever...
My Dear~ Muackz!

Happy Children's Day to My Primary School!!!

Tommorow 27th October 2010 my primary school will having Children's Day!! LOL... already 5 years didn't take part~ Now, I still confuse want to go or not. So miss my old friend and teacher. Dont know will meet them there or not? I think sure my teacher forgotten me. Haha~ I very miss Mrs Tan (my BM teacher) she teached me when I was 9 years old that year until 12 years old!! I very love her, she teached us very concentrate. Then I get B in my UPSR result, A for Chinese Essay and Math. Actually my Math very poor, because of Mrs Ma she teach me alone in tuition... That why I get A in my Math, thank you Mrs Ma! Sorry for last time, alway with you defiance in class!! Even I very naughty and I almost treat you badly including anger with you, anyway you still help me pass my Math~ Thank You Teacher!!


When I was in Primary School how I celebrate Children's Day? Erm... Let me remind it back, I celebrate it with my best friend, Cheah, Ng, Ru~ We exchange present to each another, I forgotten they gave me wat present!! Hahaha... 5 years passing so fast, all already lose contact even we have alway meet but very shy to say HI to each another... Everyone now became LENG ZAI LENG LUI!! Hahaha~ then my teacher now getting older some of them already retire. This 6 years in Primary School, I very happiness and I get a lot of fun on it! Especially I like to take part in Jogathon... Until now I still remember some of my old friend Racheal Teh, Chu Li, Toh Wei Keong, Tan Khaijian, Meng Wei, Qiu Ying, Jia Mei, Yi Xing, Qi Xing, Qiu Ru and many many else... hope one day can reunion~ CHEER UP my dear friend!! Miss eu all so much...

Today is Sunny Day here... No go to school today, yesterday sleep at 3:00 a.m. wake up at 11:14 a.m. and I had a scary dream!! Then have my breakfast like everyday I did. I clean my room, wash my beg, mop the floor~ Yup, now my room very clean and fresh!!

Lee                    : Start from November I wont come to school again until graduation ceremony that day...
Fen, Tze & Me : That sound good!!
Lee                    : So... tommorow will you all come to school? Erm... tommorow maybe no check nails and hair!!
Fen                    : Tommorow maybe I have to go for practise my motor...
Lee                    : How about Tze and Liz?!
Tze                    : Maybe nope...
Me                     : LOL! Both of you didn't come sure I wont come.
Lee                    : Yer~ left me alone here! (Turn to the back and ask other friend)
Fen, Tze & Me : (swt: her style start!!) 
Lee                    : (say loudly to behind friend) Yer~ Tze, Fen & Liz tommorow wont come to school!! Did u all come?
Tze & Me         : ( Walao eh!! Need to tell people so lougly?) Erm... how about tommorow we go library? ( Agree )
Lee                    : Tommorow you all go to the library?
Fen, Tze & Me : Sure!!
Lee                    : Yer... both of you are same!! Left me alone...
Me                     : ( Cant control and talk loudly ) Walao~ November you didn't come to school you "HaoLian" we also no say what to you!! Then if you come to school, you keep SMS to us and asking tommorow got go to school or not? When rest time, you join next class's friend!! We come for what? Walao... ( You think we dog ar? Give you use and throw!! Wanna vomit! )
Tze                    : Ya lah!! ( smile to me )
Lee                    : Sorry lor~ now you all perli me lah? Then, I diam diam... ( quiet with her black face )
Fen, Tze & Me : =) ( Yeah!! We won~ )

2day started go to school!! Ahcha~ my dear friend i am coming back. Muahaha... ==  already miss the class 2 week ( still dare to say out == )

Oi Tze Sze > says me put aeroplane... ZzZzz~
ShuFen Tan > treat me same as before, also same sohai like before... dear barney. Most love eu!
Kiki Lee > Still same so cool nia =="

Oh hor just have 12/33 student attend... So cool!! Better sleep at home~ but sure kill by my mum! T^T
Gosh~ damn happy in school. Love school because have friend in school, can bully them...
Hahaha~ continue give me bully de Barney, most good de la you!! Give me bully, nice ma? LOLX... love you baru bully you de, ok? Must appreciate it >< muahaha... I am made from ur Jesus! #

Today many house work need to do... but I am staying here!! Muahaha~ rest a while with my Nescafe and hear a song Stay Wide Awake - Eminem. Relaxing hear this song, very strange!! My friend say me " So many problem la you " Lol~ of course!! If no any problem that is not call LIFE again. Yesterday meow say " Best Friend? Kidding? " I know that feeling, meow have 2 best friend before. Got best friend sure be happy and happiness, unluckily died in an accident. I agree what he say, Best Friend all just for Name and Nice to hear. When we have problem we need them, where they are? Same as this, when you have DUNHILL they near you and take cigarette from you. When you finished your DUNHILL they all lefted... This is what means Best Friend? Nearly, I have a bad feeling... I alway thinking about the marriage with him, dont know why I suddenly feel want stay beside him. Yesterday he cook Spaghetti and prepare orange juice for me... Well, my heart still thinking about last time we quarrel. I beaten him, he hurt me... I still remember slowly slowly I stop cry again!! I just tell myself : " Wont let LOVE be my master anymore " whatever I dont want get hurt anymore... that all I want now. # 09/10/2010

Nearly I alway keep quarrel with him. GOSH~ quarrel until my dad also scared us. While, about his spagette. Erm~ I think will be cancel!! Hope so... keep quarrel like this I sure also no mood. I just hope he trust on me, is that very difficult for him? Will kill him? But, I also have fault I make him hurt. I am so bad, I promise wont again~ WAH! I 1 week no go to school already... after trial exam until now. Because I have a serious fever and cough, add on stomachache make me feel bad and tired! Actually my english quite bad, I write in english just practise for my english... dont laugh me wor... # 07/10/2010

Miss Her Again

嘴巴说 "忘记" "没事" ，但是有时还是会想念起以前曾经失去的好朋友!! 怎样失去呢?! 是不是这个世界上没有好朋友?! 还是我太挑剔?! 我就是不明白，有时越爱她们她们越爱伤害你。曾想过想挽回，但是却得到了我们的答案!! 我不知道为什么她没有回复我?! 可是我很清楚她已经没把我们的感情放在眼里。我是否挽回这份友谊?! 她是否还会再接受?! 唉~ 她是女生的啦!! Gosh... I miss her again!! HELP#29/09/2010

回忆

我难过的时候，只想有你安慰!! 我们的默契，快乐，幸福，亲密...  好像越来越远了!! 以前的我们，常常斗嘴可是很快又合好了。出门还一直牵手抱着、吃东西还喂来喂去很多人还看着我们喂、一直买巧克力吃、一起聊电话直到我们累了、一起欺负对方。我很想那些回忆!! 说话也非常有默契，还给人家说是兄妹有夫妻象。我听朋友说 : " 有夫妻象不简单，因为对方常常思念对方~ " 希望你能看到，只想获得你的关心而不是别人。我还是很喜欢你~ 可能我还对一些东西不满，不是你是我自己!! 对一个人太好，另一个就会开始自责觉得配不起!! 你也是有这种感受吧。以前我们都一起难过还抱着一起哭，都不知道做么哭啦!! 哈哈哈~ 还记得巴士站吗?! 好傻hor... 上巴士了还要一边讲电话一边用车追着巴士，巴士的那个人看了听了都哭了越看越想哭越舍不得要走。坐旁边的也一直看着那两个人看着旁边的人流泪。上巴士前已经知道来不及了，还赶去买甜甜圈硬硬塞进嘴巴才上巴士。好呆~ 每次那个人一到目的地的时候，都会哭着要回家!! 可是每次回家，第一个想见的也是他。巴士站，就是一个非常让他们两人伤心的地方。它送远了身边的朋友、家人及爱人...#26/09/2010

我想得太简单了

是不是感情越深伤害越大?!
是不是感情越久就会变淡?!
是不是坦白就会被骂?!
是不是越关心，你就越觉得烦?!
是不是越关心，你就越觉得想避开?!
是不是在一起才能恩爱?!
是不是在一起才不会吵架?!
是不是要牵手才叫作恋爱?!
是不是爱情里有"报仇"?!
是不是爱情要受到伤害?!
是不是爱情我才懂得哭泣?!
是不是爱情才能让我变得成熟?!
是不是爱情让我知道伤害的滋味?!
是不是爱情是一时幸福，一时哭泣，一吵架，一时伤害?!
不管如何我是不会放弃的!! 伤害是一种"提醒"，恩爱是一种"快乐"~
为了爱情就要懂得付出，懂得珍惜!! 可是我完全忽略，还让人有机会靠近~ 是否还会选择我?!

Undang-undang Test

Oh My God~ 明天就是星期五了!! 明天考Undang-undang。惨了，还没读到啊~ 又再临时抱佛脚了!! 已经考第三次了，很失败吧? 第一次考的时候，很有信心去考。怎么知道成绩出来的时候，就差一题就过了。气死我了~ 第二次去考的时候，就没有那么信心了! 没有读好就去考了，反而成绩更差。天啊~ 没眼看下去!! 拖拖拉拉的，终于明天出头了。要不然，怎么去考车啦!! 上次给我爸爸气死了，说好买新车的。现在又改变主意，真的好气啊~ 叫我去驾XXXXXX，我真的疯掉啊!! 车都给人家驾到这边坏那边坏，现在还要我驾~ 晕晕晕。到时修理车的钱，我可头大了!! 已经想好要怎样设计车了，现在给他搞扎了。管他~ 驾他的车好了，要不然天天放在家迟早生锈。 嘿嘿嘿~ 这样又帮他省了罗!! 我真是真是卑鄙的孩子。可是买了多一辆车，也没有位放，宁愿共私!! No money No Talk~ #23/09/2010

最讨厌看不起人家的人~

现在我越来越坚强了!! 不再像以前那样一点点就难过了~ 终于想开了好多。可能是因为我长大了，可以去考车了还思想幼稚就不好了!! 现在还在烦要不要读大学啊!! 读大学是不错可是学费可就糟糕了。而且听说现在很多大学毕业了，都没有工作做。还有我的数学越来越差了，可以说无药可救啊!! 这边说这边出~ 最讨厌看不起人家的人，我数学很差也不要说到我很笨没有读书啦!! 哗佬~ 酱子很看不起我罗。还有啊， 我很想跟那个人说 : " 你的英文也不是好到哪里，请你不要在我(小妹妹)面前讲吗? 我很想吐啊! 我没有看不起你，你就先看不起我。所以我才不客气说你的，大学哥哥。" 太自以为是了!! 真真厉害有知识的大学生，是不会像你这样的态度。你还是收拾行李回家吧，不要破坏大学生的名誉。如果我是你，我也不会酱骄傲~ 我呸呸呸!!! 在街上不要给我见到你~ 是啊，我的脾气就是这样。是你先说我是没有读书的学生，换我说回你是没有读书的学生呢? 开玩笑的还没关系，还要在我背后讲。回家吃粪啦，做什么老师!! 小心出
了社会说错话给人家打!! 保重!! 最讨厌看不起人家的人~ 讲人之前先看看自己再说吧 SHIT # 23/09/2010

真的很爱你们!

最近身体开始脆弱了，最近一点点就头晕吃的也很少。胃口很差，即使很饿也吃下一点就觉得很饱。想看医生但是好怕知道什么坏消息! 这样下去如何是好? 好怕看医生，也好怕知道得了什么病。放不下爸爸，妈妈，他和格格! 从来不敢想象失去他们。虽然最近一直和爸爸吵架，吵完后都觉得自己很不应该这样对他争吵。真的不应该~ 越来越爱我的格格了(我家的狗)，转眼间和我在一起已经5个月了。虽然有时很气人但是我好喜欢当我在睡觉的时候，它跑来在我的背靠着睡觉觉得好像给它安全感! 好幸福~ 有时它睡觉还会出声的哦。傻傻的~ 哈哈哈~ 妈咪很疼格格! 这两年我真的很幸福，我要狗就有狗、我要大大只的松鼠就有、要上网就有、要吃什么就有、当我在外洲读书你也自己一个人去载我等等。我想和你说我真的很幸福，不要再分开了哈! 如果没有你就好像少了喇叭在吹我。哈哈哈~ 能认识到你，也要谢谢那个人虽然很讨厌他可是没有他就没有你。妈咪，爸爸很爱你;我也很爱你。希望你明白，家人最重要的! 我和爸爸很爱你哦。不要再孤单自己一个人解决，也要与我们分担! 虽然爸爸嘴巴说不爱可是不知多爱! 他酱老了还是像个小孩，每次都害我跟阿光笑的~ 哈哈哈~ 真的很爱你
们!# 22/09/2010

和他约会好开心

今天和他约会好开心!! 他，红毛丹，Sunny 和我一起庆祝生日。虽然生日都过了很久，可是没有蛋糕终是觉得怪怪的所以就买蛋糕来庆祝下。好无聊哦~ 哈哈~ 切完蛋糕后，我们就去Fun Fair玩。我们先坐秋千的，接下来我们就坐碰碰车，然后坐八脚鱼，最后坐转前转后的。转到我和他都晕才甘愿回家。我们还说订婚的事，好像有点太急了! 可是想想在一起也两年了，又分又和却不想再失去的感觉。嗯，我也很爱他! 两年多的感情了，有时是会放不下的。我好想对他说 : " 我会改的，我知道我很幼稚不懂很多东西变成熟都是因为你。谢谢~ "# 22/09/2010

Woi!! Wake up~ go school!!!

Early in the morning, I wake up and prepare go to school... already 2 week didn't go to school, start miss school life~ Sure!! After finish holiday, most of student will change hairstyle. Erm... because our school cannot have long hair including boys. I miss school and friend along this holiday, but when thinking SPM coming soon I nervious again. When saw my friend I start relax, very nice talk to them... still left 3 month, after 3 month we will go our own ways. Haiz~ that time don't know who still live here. Then, still contact each another? Already form 5 why still need to quarrel again? Last year for us why don't we appreciate the time we together? Maybe future time, we wont together again... I just hope we all can enjoy our time together happily~ still left 3 month lets enjoy it, ok?* 19/9/2010

LOVE Beyond ( BAND )

Don't know start from when, every night I will hear Beyond's Song before I sleep... Erm~ quite good & very enjoy their song!! Meaningful... LOVE Beyond so much. >< still waiting their new album, but unluckily their leader pass away. Sad Sad Sad~ Can't out new album anymore. Altough I don't know Contenese but I can feel their song... Maybe is sit someone car then started LOVE Beyond. If want say Beyond bad word, better dont let me hear, if nope I kill them. Muahahaha ^^ Love Beyond Love Beyond!! Say only har, dont take it serious wor.#

HURT

I alway blame myself... When the happiness come, why I didn't hold tight! When I lose it, I just know how to hold tight it~ Then regretful what I miss. Useless if continue like this, miss many time already still sleeping... zzZzZzzZZZ~~~ hurt people also don't know. I agree I don't know talking & I dont know how to communicate with people in real life. It's very HARD for me, try it before but very hard. How to leave here after SPM? Lol... this is what I started confuse. After lost HIM I alway hurt by many people, when I need him, he gone! That time I started realise, who is protect-ing me when I was bully by people. Ya~ I hurt him deeply, what he say to me I still remember until now. I really very admire him, even he hurt deeply still can continue smile~ But his smile is painful, that time I was just 14 years old. He make me realise he really very love me, even I say 1000 SORRY to him that sore still will there until forever. So, I choose break with him. IF VERY LOVE SOMEONE, WE JUST HOPE THEY HAPPINESS...Yup, I agree! I just let him go... but it will be my memory in my mind forever hope that I wont make that mistake again. BYE my lover*

17's Birthday

17's Birthday... Maybe is the worst Birthday in my whole LIFE! Haiz~ Single now, should i be happy? Happy for freedom OR Unhappy for alone? Break and compound... maybe for him, I still is a PLAYGIRL. I change many for him but he still alway argue with me. Sometimes he make me feel happiness, I like date with him but i hate SMS with him & talk in the phone. We will quarrel if we SMS or talk in the phone!! I changed so much for him... but the result is break. Later break later compound, 2 years ago still same. Maybe is my fault, make him HURT & HURT. Should i let it go? 2 years LOVE STORY the end...